Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Empty...ten reasons why...

Patience. It is something many children don't have. Waiting to go on an amusement park ride seems like an eternity to them (well, ok. The sad reality is that waiting for a ride can be an eternity. Bad example). How about travelling...when on a long trip they might ask every 15 minutes "Are we there yet?" When they come home from school the question is "When will dinner be ready?" Five minutes later they moan and groan about being hungry and ask, "Is is ready yet? I'm starving!"

Well, I feel like a child today. I feel impatient and hungry. When I heard the mailbox shut today I was like one of Pavlov's dogs. (Uh, no, I wasn't salivating...just anticipating.) After receiving only three postcard poems in the mail, I've been conditioned to rush to the mailbox and see what goodies are waiting for me. Well, today I checked my mail and you know what I got? Nothing. Nada. Zip. Zilch. I wanted to chase after the mail carrier and say, "Hey, Mr.! Aren't my postcards here yet?" I was the hungry child. I wanted to wrapped my fingers around his arm and ask, "Are they ready yet? I'm starving? Give me some poetry to chew on." But I didn't. Not only because I am usually quite patient but also because he would probably think I was nuts. (Tami Miller! I know you just read that last sentence and replied, "Oh, but you are nuts.")

Yea, I am nuts. Nuts about art and poetry, and this project is fun. However, international mail is so unpredictable; who knows when they will arrive. Sometimes in only takes two day. Other times two weeks are needed. The weird thing is I haven't received a postcard yet from the person who had to send one to me on day one (August 1). I received from my day 5 person already and my day 11 person (who obviously sent it early). So, where is day 1? Here are my ideas.

Ten Reason I Haven't Received My Postcard*

1) She waited to first receive a postcard to respond to and sent it late.

2) She wrote it and sent it on August 1 but one of the postal workers liked it so much he/she kept it. Probably took the damn thing home and framed it. The nerve!

3) The dog ate it. (Hey, the dog always eats the homework so why not poetry postcards. Maybe it is a very intelligent, literary-incline canine who thinks adjectives and verbs are delectable.)

4) The mail truck was hijacked by a clan of bored people who need reading material.

5) When the postal worker opened the mail box to empty the contents, the wind carried it away and it got stuck on a unicorn's horn. It probably rolled on its back and used all four hooves to remove it. Probably tore the thing to shreds in the process. Yep, just great. Thanks a lot.

6) Customs is holding it. They figured if I was getting great stuff like that in the mail, I should need to pay tax on it. After all, one must declare valuable items. They'll probably call me about it tomorrow. What price can I put on creativity and snail mail happiness?

7) The secret service is holding it. They thought it was some sort of secret poetic code. They're trying to decipher it. It is taking it a while because each agent interpretes it differently.

8) The poem is alive and walked off. It might never be found.

9)  The postcard is taking the road less travelled, the one that starts in the boondocks, then on to East Jeblip, the land of make-believe and Oz before stopping here.

And the tenth possible reason that it isn't here yet is:

Ahhh! This is where you, my lovely readers, come into play. YOU give me the reason. Make it as silly or serious as you want. There is no right or wrong answer. Just write it in the comments section. Otherwise, my list of ten won't be complete and we don't want that do we? Perhaps with a combined effort we can reach 20 reasons.

5, 4, 3, 2, 1...write!

*Please note, this is in no way an attack on the person. I also haven't received from the third and fourth day poets and well as those for day 6, 7, 8... It is most likely the same as last year...the curse of overseas mailing. The postcards will get here eventually. I just wanted to post about running to the mailbox and being bummed and decided to have a little fun with it.


Tami said...

*eyeroll* of course you are CRAZY! duh

As far as the post card... The sender loves you so much, it went to the moon and back! xoxo

Linda H. said...

Well, our course. Why didn't I think of that? I mean, we don't know each other. We're strangers. But anyone who writes poetry has to totally dig that someone else loves writing poetry. So it's a love thing. To the moon and back.

S.E.Ingraham said...

Crazy-shmazy...it's all relative, not relevant...ahem. Your Day One card has obviously linked up with my Day One card and they are off on a bit of a road trip, doing whatever a pair of exemplary postcards do on road trips. They will no doubt be along shortly. (She says with much more confidence than she actually feels...3 cards, you say? You did read me writing I've got ONE, right? And it didn't arrive until today? I was getting ready to throw myself off a bridge. Not really, after all, since when would that help a postcard get delivered?)

Linda H. said...

Oh, yes. I did read that. You poor thing! I had the same problem last year. About two weeks in to it I only had one card. Then they started creeping in. What a relief! But in the end, two or three postcards never arrived and since not everyone signs them, I couldn't be sure which people's postcards were lost.

I had thought that you would get your postcards sooner than I. After all, most people are from the U.S. and Canada is closer than Germany. But like we've said...the mail service is unpredictable.

Laurie Kolp said...

Maybe you did receive it & it's a subliminal postcard.

Linda H. said...

Why yes! Reason #10 - It was a subliminal postcard, and I wasn't open to receiving it. My fault!

I like the way you think, Laurie.

Laura said...

well, unexpected things happen all the time so perhaps someone in the family is ill or worse died... and hey this could happen to more then one person at a time... or there was a house fire, a flood... any possible tragedy could be a source for these missing postcards. Or Laurie's idea, which is pretty air tight and a lot less worrisome!

Linda G Hatton said...

The poet loved the work they produced so much, they could not bear to part with it. It is now framed and hanging in the center of a blank wall in their living room with a sofa, the only other object in the room, facing it for viewing purposes.


Linda H. said...

so true. Sh*t happens. But, yea, Laurie's probably figured it out. ;-)

Linda H. said...

Well, dang! If the work was that good, then I can't blame them.

(actually I finally received her postcard yesterday, so no, it is not hanging in her living room but it was such a cute postcard it really could have been. I guess the mail service was just extremely slow with hers)

StarTraci said...

My favorite is definitely Number 4 but my daughter would prefer number 5 because she is always coming up with stories about unicorns.
Have a great week!

Linda G Hatton said...

Oh! Ha ha!! I'm glad it finally arrived. :-)

Crafty Green Poet said...

You never know what's going to happen with international mail, glad you got the postcard in the end

Madeleine Begun Kane said...

I enjoyed your playful take on waiting for the mail.

Madeleine Begun Kane